26 years
I have a 2.5 yrs old twin,a boy and a girl, they fight a lot and hit each other, argue a lot, they also get along when they are quiet, what shall I do?
May 15, 2014
The relationship between twins and multiples is definitely complicated. On the one hand, they are blessed with built-in buddies. Yet they are also subject to constant comparison and competition. Just as in any relationship, there will be tender, loving moments, and times of dissension and disagreement.
For the most part, twins and mutiples probably enjoy being together, but there will also be times of tension. Often, it begins in toddlerhood, when young children lack the communication skills to express their feelings and desires, and instead lash out physically. They may bite or pull the hair of their co-multiple.
There are numerous strategies for managing conflict between multiples:
1- Avoid an impression of favoritism by utilizing neutral systems for establishing rules and guidelines within your family. For example,take turns by days of the week to designate schedules, for example, Twin A goes first on even days and Twin B goes first on odd days.
2-Acknowledge and validate feelings; condemn bad behavior, not the person.Help them to work out an alternative behavior to accomplish their goals.
3-Set expectations of respect among family members; offer praise when it is exhibited, and discipline with appropriate consequences when it is violated.
4-Establish boundaries to provide opportunities for individual privacy and possessions.
5-Create a safe environment for healthy disagreement by listening to both parties and responding.
6-Utilize time-outs, both for kids and the objects of their disagreement. If they are fighting over a toy, put the toy in time out until they can work out an arrangement to play together or share it. Sometimes, squabbles originate simply because multiples need a break from each other.
7-Intervene minimally. Act as a mediator when necessary, but allow your multiples to resolve conflicts between themselves.
8-Keep perspective. This “two” shall pass. Sibling conflict is normal, and sometimes beneficial. Despite the aggravation it causes now, they will most likely grow up to be very close. And they’ll learn some negotiating skills along the way.
9-Finally, release your parental quest to keep everything fair and equal between your multiples.
For the most part, twins and mutiples probably enjoy being together, but there will also be times of tension. Often, it begins in toddlerhood, when young children lack the communication skills to express their feelings and desires, and instead lash out physically. They may bite or pull the hair of their co-multiple.
There are numerous strategies for managing conflict between multiples:
1- Avoid an impression of favoritism by utilizing neutral systems for establishing rules and guidelines within your family. For example,take turns by days of the week to designate schedules, for example, Twin A goes first on even days and Twin B goes first on odd days.
2-Acknowledge and validate feelings; condemn bad behavior, not the person.Help them to work out an alternative behavior to accomplish their goals.
3-Set expectations of respect among family members; offer praise when it is exhibited, and discipline with appropriate consequences when it is violated.
4-Establish boundaries to provide opportunities for individual privacy and possessions.
5-Create a safe environment for healthy disagreement by listening to both parties and responding.
6-Utilize time-outs, both for kids and the objects of their disagreement. If they are fighting over a toy, put the toy in time out until they can work out an arrangement to play together or share it. Sometimes, squabbles originate simply because multiples need a break from each other.
7-Intervene minimally. Act as a mediator when necessary, but allow your multiples to resolve conflicts between themselves.
8-Keep perspective. This “two” shall pass. Sibling conflict is normal, and sometimes beneficial. Despite the aggravation it causes now, they will most likely grow up to be very close. And they’ll learn some negotiating skills along the way.
9-Finally, release your parental quest to keep everything fair and equal between your multiples.
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